My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
