But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
