Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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