problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
