Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
