Rock
Scissors
Fuck
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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