summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Randomize
