Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
