i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
