Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
