Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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