Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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