Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
