Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize