If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
