That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
