This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
