It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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