Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
