i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
honey bunches of taint.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
