he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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