u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
