I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
