i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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