Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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