I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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