im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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