$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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