Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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