You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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