nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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