New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I want to fling myself into the sun
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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