Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
