She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
