i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Shame is for Republicans.
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