Where are you?
In a non slutty way
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
