does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
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Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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