She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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