sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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