I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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