Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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