...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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