2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
