My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
