I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
