their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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