My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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