There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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