over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize