oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
