we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
