I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Randomize
