I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize