so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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