So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
