guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I supernannyed him into submission
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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