God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I have post one night stand depression
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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