Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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