Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
