I want to stick my p in your. b.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
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