i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Dicks are not precious.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
