don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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