:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
