No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
