Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
