what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Operation Purity has been aborted
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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