So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
